Accepting Love
by Jayexoh
Summary: The Story of Tessa Realizing that she loves Jem a lot more than she realized. Even though Her heart is being torn into two.
1. Thoughts

_"I Love you, Tessa." Will said _

Those words still haunt me and it feels like my heart is being ripped into two.

But it has been two months and Jem and I have grown so close. I know that I love Jem

I do, but Will Herondale will always have a special place in my heart.

"Tessa are you okay?" Jem said breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh! I am sorry Jem I got lost in my thoughts. What were you just saying?" I mumbled still a bit dazed

"Love, I was asking if you wanted to go the park and have a picnic for lunch?' he asked looking amused. I blushed crimson with embarrassment that I had been thinking of Will's confession of love for me. I looked up into Jem's silver rimmed eyes and took his glorious appearance in his sharp edged cheek and jaw bones and his lips along with his pure silver hair. He was truly beautiful. I smiled "That would be splendid Jem." and kissed him on the cheek.

The walk to the park was beautiful. "Tessa, I have been thinking and i just want you to know that I think that we should get married sooner. I know that we have told the others that we wanted to get married in the fall but, summer has already started and I do not want to waste another minute of my life of not being married to you."Jem confessed blushing slightly as Tessa looked at him with big grey eyes.

"But Jem the council? They have not approved of our request!" I stepped forward and cupped Tessa's face in my hands "Tessa I do not care. I Love you so much. And I do not want wait and I do not care if the council has not approved. I want to spend the rest of my life with the women that I love who is right in front of me."

I sighed and look up into Jem's eyes "Yes."

His eyes went wide with surprise "Really?"

I smiled and nodded "Yes. James Carstairs I want to get married to you; more than anything."

"I Love You Tessa Gray." Jem sighed and lean forward and captured my lips with his.

Jem started the kiss off slow and sweet. I returned the kiss greatly, and then the hunger that I have always gotten when kissing Jem took over me. Jem's hand tangled in my hair and then ghosted lightly down my back to my waist. He pulled me closer to him. It was as if time stopped when I was with him and it was just the two of us in this big world of the unknown. Jem pulled back from me and kissed me once, then twice and pulled back.

"As I have said before, I think we are in need of a chaperon." He chuckled lightly and brushed his fingers through my tangled mass of curls. Blushing greatly I laughed and grabbed his hand and gave it a slight squeeze.

"I do not think you should worry, soon we will be able to what ever we want." I kissed his hand.

"Of course, now shall we go and eat?" he smiled down at me.

"That would be an idea." I giggled

Our lunch in the park was very beautiful; I think I cherished it a lot more than I expected then I thought. The thought that Jem could get sick and not get better; haunts my darkest nightmares

Jem has become my rock over the past months. And everyday he has made me come to realize just how much I Love him. I hope to god that Will understands that I do love Jem and that I would never hurt him. Will and I gave been drifting apart ever since he told me that he loved me. Maybe it is for the best but I do wish we were still close; but I am not sure that we will ever be the same friends that we once were. I looked at Jem's pure silver eyes and knew that I was making the right decision. As we were walking up Jem had started to cough we stopped and got worse. "Jem!" I yelled he pulled his handkerchief back and to see that it was splattered with blood.

"Tessa." He whispered and slumped over just as I caught him


	2. Promises

I had just caught Jem as he started to slump towards me. He was still breathing but his face was as white parchment paper.  
"Will, Henry Help!" I yelled from the institute.

Will was there within an instant followed shortly after Henry.  
"What happened?" Will asked panicked

"We were just walking and enjoying the sun, and as we were coming up the stairs he got into a coughing fit. We need to hurry and get him to his bedroom." I said quietly. Will and Henry carefully picked up Jem and took him inside and brought him to his room. As I was closing the door Charlotte was standing there with a worried look on her face. "Is he going to be okay?" I asked her quietly.

"The Silent brothers should be here shortly. They will do everything that they can to help him Tessa you need not to worry hon." She said softly while walking up the stairs with me to go and check on Jem.

I walked into Jem's room and gasped at the sight of him he was so pale and still. He looked fragile. I sat down in the chair beside his bed and held his hand while he slept. I stayed there for what seemed like hours. And finally after what felt like an eternity I felt his hand grab onto mine harder. "Tessa?" he said quietly. He opened his just a bit

"I'm here Jem." He looked around the room and then back at me.

"Can you get Will for me please?" he asked gently. I nodded and got up to get Will.

I walked down the hall in search for Will, I looked in the study and then thought better and went to the training room and found Will sitting in the middle of the floor resting his forehead on his knees. Walking in carefully and silently I knelt down beside him and held his hand. Will looked up at my touch and stared up at me.

"He needs you Will, more than anything right now. Please go and see him he has been asking for you." I said softly to him.

"You, will come with me though right?'

I nodded my head and replied "Of course I will."

Will and Tessa walked down the hall towards James' room side by side silently not one of them saying a word to each other. Walking into the room to see Jem looking deathly pale and sitting up and watching as both Tessa and Will walked in to his room. Staring at the sight of both of them he smiled at his parabati and fiancé.

"Tessa, do you mind giving Will and I a moment please?" James asked politely.

Without a word Tessa left the room closing the door behind her.

Will waited a moment after Tessa had left the room to even say anything to Jem.

"James what is this about?" he asked confused

James took a deep breath and looked up at Will with sad eyes.

"Will, I don't think I will make it this time, I can just feel it in my heart. I know your secret. I know that you love Tessa as well, and I need to know that if I do not make it that you will take care of her for me. Do you understand Will?" he asked in hushed tone

Will furrowed his brows and shook his head, and grabbed a hold of Jem's hand and knelt down beside the bed.

"You are not going anywhere James do you hear me? You will get through this because I will find you more _yin fen_. And you will get better and you and Tess will get married and live a happy life with your children and with the rest of us. I promise you this brother." Will says with his voice breaking.

Jem just shakes his head and looks at Will sadly and says "Don't make promises that you cannot keep William. You need to promise me that no matter what Tessa will always have you, I need you to say those words Will please do it for me, your parabati , your brother."

Both of the Shadowhunter boys were silent for what seemed like hours, until Will finally sighed and said quietly "I promise to take care of her for you James."

Jem gave a small smile "Thank-you William."

Will just nodded and then rested his forehead against the edge of the bed and stayed like that for a while. A knock sounded at the door sometime later. Will whipped his head towards the door and looked to see who had come into the room.

"Tessa. Come in."" Jem said with the smallest smile

Tessa gave the smallest smile back to Jem, as she cam and sat on the other side of Jem's bedroom Will got up and left to give Jem and Tess a moment to their selves and to be together.

Jem looked at Tessa to see tears forming in her eyes he grabbed her hands in his. "Tessa, what his the matter love?" he asked sweetly

Tessa looked up with a sad smile and said "I need to tell you something James."


End file.
